Download Mobi Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome By Rudy Simone
Download Mobi Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome By Rudy Simone
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Ebook About *Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards** Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.Book Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome Review :
I really wanted to like this book. I was ready to like it. I simply didn't. For full disclosure, I'm a long-time neurodiversity advocate and an autistic adult female (26 years old).I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder after the DSM-V came out. If I had been diagnosed during the DSM-IV era, the diagnosis would have been Asperger's. I've been struggling to explain my diagnosis and how it impacts me to parents and friends, and I saw that this book was highly recommended so I thought I would give it a try. This book did not clearly communicate its target audience, so I thought that it would appeal to both teen girls and adult women on the spectrum. Really I would say the only audience that might benefit from reading this book would be recently diagnosed 11- to 13-year-old girls and their parents. Here are some of my problems with the book:- It is written in a very childlike voice, in very simple terms. This is good for people with an elementary/middle school reading level. It is not really geared toward an audience of highly intelligent and verbal autistic young adults--which is ironic, because a good portion of the book talks about how motivated and intelligent Aspies tend to be. At times it comes across as condescending. I would never give this book to my mother to read because the "Advice to Parents" sections are sometimes written in the same kind of condescending/coddling tone, and fails to address neurotypical parents in ways that are more accessible to them *as neurotypicals*--which I think is really important for books like this. The whole point, I thought, is to bridge the gap between those on the autism spectrum and those who aren't...?- At some point it posits that people with Asperger's might be psychic. It also espouses reiki, chi, and other similar New Age beliefs, including a section that talks about Aspergirls as being gifts from God. The book does not market itself as being religious or New Age, but this is very important to mention, as readers may not have these same beliefs.- The author tends to generalize her own experience to all Aspies and, despite input from several different autistic women, fails to acknowledge the differences in presentation along the entirety of the autism spectrum. For example, she perseverates on her assertion that Aspies are "emotionally immature." Perhaps she was emotionally immature, but I don't believe that is an necessary aspect of the autistic condition. I've actually had my neurotypical mother tell me things along the lines of, "you're a lot more emotionally mature at 26 than I was." Someone who spends a lot of time learning and self-reflecting can actually have a *better* handle on themselves and their issues than others do. That doesn't make the social skills deficits go away--in fact, it can actually cast them in sharp relief. The book fails to really address the root causes of social skills deficits, etc., which is unfortunate. Another example is her insistence that all girls on the spectrum struggle with selective mutism. That has never been a problem of mine, altho' I have struggled with slurred speech and stuttering, something that she relegates to the male side of the spectrum.- Further to that... while I definitely agree that men and women on the spectrum typically present in vastly different ways, she fails to properly acknowledge the overlap between so-called "male" and "female" presentations of autism--actually, come to think of it, she fails to really explore this topic at ALL, other than a bit in the appendices. I do think that my social skills are better in general than that of my autistic male peers because I was groomed and trained to be more social by society, since women are supposed to be the social ones. But I am not prone to crying meltdowns, and I do stutter. Furthermore, I have male friends with a more "female" Aspie presentation profile. What I would have liked to see is for her to have done a more thorough compare-and-contrast between the different gendered presentations, with an acknowledgement of the overlaps as well, rather than relegating all of that to the very back of the book.- Actually, you know what, in general the author has some very sadly stereotypical views of men and women. She does not question society's division of traits into "masculine" and "feminine" and does not acknowledge that stereotypes are stereotypes, but rather treats them like rules or laws of nature...- The book fails to acknowledge that some Aspergirls might not be straight. Some women might not want to romance a man! This book was published in 2010. It really should know better than this.- The personal anecdotes were a nice touch but I think they were handled poorly. They appeared at random and the quotes were sometimes very starkly divorced from their original context. I would have liked to see the text organized better. I also think that the author could have used some more hard data to back up her statements at times.- Another thing... at a certain point the author says something to the effect of, it is important to never criticize an Aspergirl. I believe that this is terrible advice. EVERYONE, autistic, neurotypical, and everything in-between, needs to be taught how to accept constructive criticism and use it to grow and better themselves. People also need to learn how to graciously deal with negative criticism--how to grow a thicker skin and block out haters and trolls and bullies when they do rear their ugly heads. I know what it's like to be super sensitive and take criticism very hard. But I use it to grow and become a better person (and, when it comes to being an aspiring artist/writer/poet, I've learned to *thrive* on criticism, as without it I would never be able to improve my art!). I wonder what kind of constructive feedback Simone had on this book and this writing project. Did she have an editor help her cut things out, improve the first few drafts, make it better? Or did she have someone coddle her and hold her hand through the entire project and say that every word she wrote was gold? I would hope it was the former. That's what writers need in order to become better writers. I think telling parents to shield their kids from criticism is very dangerous advice. (Of course, it is important for parents not to be judgmental and critical toward their children, which is a different concept altogether from never offering any constructive critique or advice.)This review is getting really long so I'm gonna cut it off here. *Unless* you're a middle-school girl (or the parent of a middle-school girl) who was JUST diagnosed and knows NOTHING about autism, and who believes or is open to spiritual/New Age stuff, and who is completely straight and believes in gender roles, then you'll want to skip out on this book for sure. It’s been a few weeks since I have read this book, but I still wanted to write a review. Hopefully I’m not misremembering too much.First of all, I was very excited to read this book because I am a woman who before update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) I would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s instead of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I’ve always felt a little lost about my diagnosis as most of the resources available are for men. And of course this book was supposed to “empower me.” Unfortunately, this could not be further from the truth.Had the book been given to me as a teenager I would have felt relief because it does very accurately describe how girls experience autism. Finally I would have understood that while I wasn’t neurotypical, I wasn’t alone. And I would have had the words to say “look! This is how this situation makes me and other girls like me feel!” Perhaps I would have even dealt better with those situations if I had known I was autistic and not just felt like a freak. But sadly, I feel like that is the only part of the book that was done well.When it came to giving advice and this so called empowering, I am a little bit baffled:-The first red flag for me was talking about how people have psychic abilities and how autistic girls are especially psychic because they are so sensitive. Like I said, this is just baffling to me. While I can’t completely dismiss the idea of spirituality and the unknown, telling young girls or women who have always felt different and are more prone to have comorbid mental disorders that they are psychic seems highly irresponsible.Not to mention that there is a very reasonable explanation; autistic girls learn to be especially observant because, when they are not, they receive heaps of negative reinforcement. So while they may not be aware of the fact that their minds are taking in every minute detail to try to calculate what is going to happen next or whether this person has a good intentions, they are. Intuition and gut feelings are very important and I believe they should be listened to, but calling them psychic abilities is dangerous.-The next thing that really struck me as not okay was the section on Gender Roles. It talked about how women on the spectrum struggle to fit into the gendered mold and I thought it was going somewhere good before it took a sharp left turn. The advice didn’t seem to be “be yourself, gender is a construct anyways!” which is what I had to learn to be okay with my gender and the struggle associated with it. Instead the advice seemed to be “stick to your gender role as well as you possibly can so you seem more neurotypical!” This is terrible advice and the opposite of empowering.I tried this method for years. I thought if I could fake it on the outside I would eventually learn to perform feminine gender correctly and eventually like it like all other neurotypical girls. The biggest problem was that it was just that, extremely fake. Even before I was diagnosed I realized that most girls didn’t like or want to perform feminine gender the way we saw it in media and that was okay. Realizing that and freeing myself as much as possible from Gender Roles is really what helped and empowered me.-Going along with Gender Roles was a section on Attraction, Dating, Sex and Relationships. I can’t say this section was all bad because it did have something important that I needed to hear as a teen, not everyone enjoys sex and being touched and that’s okay and normal. It also spoke about how quickly women on the spectrum settle because “finally” someone is willing to date them and what a bad idea this is.The rest of it was, from my perspective as a someone who is not heterosexual, terrible. It made a brief note that not all relationships are traditional (one interviewee had two boyfriends) and that not all women on the spectrum are straight, but other than that it was incredibly heteronormative. Even worse was the advice to again, not be yourself, but to shove yourself into society’s idea of woman so that you can maybe one day hope to get a man. It felt very backwards and not at all helpful.-Another odd thing that stuck out to me was talking about having kids. About how when they are little you see them as playmates, but as they get older they mature, but you don’t. Again, baffling. This idea that anyone on the spectrum, not just women, are perpetually immature or child like has always been a pet peeve of mine. While I understand my interests may stay childlike and sometimes I don’t understand a situation and that makes me seem immature or worse, stupid, the idea that people on the spectrum don’t ever seem to mature is awful. It might take us longer, but the idea that our children will inherently be more mature than us if they are not on the spectrum is just passing the buck. There are plenty of people my age or older who are not on the spectrum and I believe they are less mature. Perpetuating the idea that we will always be immature because of ASD is just a way to rob us of our autonomy as we get older.-When I read the section on Stomach Issues and Autism I couldn’t help sighing. While yes, I do experience stomach issues, it has more to do with the fact I have Hypothyroidism than Autism. It was also written from a place of extreme privilege, that it is somehow easy to cut gluten, dairy, processed and so many other things out of your diet. Especially for women who struggle with executive dysfunction and can’t meal prep three weeks in advance. The other thing that annoyed me about it is that somehow changing your diet will make you feel more neurotypical. As if that is the goal instead of learning how to cope with your autistic traits.-This is the last one and maybe I should have put it at the top because it is such a red flag for me. But the utter dismissal of medications, especially of the psychiatric kind. So many women and girls on the spectrum struggle with comorbid disorders and telling them that they are particularly sensitive and should avoid medications at all cost made me want to scream. There is so much stigma surrounding medication that makes people afraid to be on it, and this book doesn’t do any favors to autistic women by telling them to avoid it if they can. What’s worse is she doesn’t even back this up with any evidence beyond anecdotes! This advice is more hurtful than helpful than anything else in this book.I know this is very long, but I really wanted to highlight why I gave the book only one star and steer others away from it. I’m sure there are better books out there! 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